Disrespected and Diminished

I was 39w 4d with my second pregnancy. My first pregnancy was text-book, with no complications whatsoever, and the second was running along course just as smoothly.
At my Dr’s appointment for a routine check-in and cervical exam, the Dr performed a membrane sweep without so much as mentioning it, let alone asking my consent. I questioned her mid-sweep to confirm that that was indeed what she was doing, and she stopped the procedure to have a conversation about it with me, but remained INSIDE of me for our ‘chat’. When she finished explaining what the procedure is and why it is thought to be beneficial, she asked if I’d like her to continue with the sweep – again, while her hand was still resting inside of me.
I was so taken aback that she had performed such an invasive, painful procedure without so much as a mention of what to expect that I couldn’t process the situation enough to answer her. She decided to leave the sweep as it was… and then removed her hand from my vagina.
Her sweep ended up inducing labor, but given that she said after the fact that ‘it may just cause cramps or could start labor’, I spent the next couple of hours in a mind-f#%k of ‘are these just cramps or is this actual labor?’
Unlike my first labor, which I prepared myself for mentally (with the help of my doula), I felt so out of control the entire time with my second. I continued to question myself and my body, and felt more fearful of the process than I ever did the first time.
I have nothing against the use of the membrane sweep procedure, and even contemplated having it done for my third pregnancy when baby was 2 days ‘late’ as compared to the 2 and 3 days early that my first two pregnancies were (I was SO done with being pregnant!). But I felt totally disrespected and diminished (to say the least) by her not taking a moment to explain my options or hear out my wishes for my own body.

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